Trying to Find the Right Words to Say

Over the past several days, we have visited Terezin, Small Fortress, Wannsee House, The Topography of Terror Museum, and The Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe, I have been struggling to find a way to express how I have been feeling. One of the most impactful parts of this trip was the first sight in the Terezin Museum, where we walked in to see names all over the walls. One right after the other, with dates in between. An entire room completely covered in names. At first, I thought it was the names of the residents of Terezin during the second world war, perhaps the names of those who had died in the camp. It was the names of children from Terezin who had died. I can’t describe the heartbreak I felt upon the realization that of the assumed 15,000 children that had been sent to Terezin, less than 150 survived the war. From there we moved on to a wall of pictures drawn by the children of Terezin, and we saw a room that replicated a stage for a show the residents would have put on. The people of Terezin were living in horrible conditions with the fear of being transported looming over them, yet somehow, they managed to cling to the arts and educate the children of the camp. They still had hope, and it makes you wonder how.

Walking the grounds of the Small Fortress cannot really be described from an emotional standpoint. We see movies, read books, and look at pictures in an attempt to understand what the prisoners of World War II went through, but it is nothing compared to walking the grounds where they lived and died. Our guide through the Small Fortress told us that prisoners that were kept there did not stay more than one week. Close to 100 Jewish prisoners would be kept in a room that could barely fit our class of 20 people. They were forced to stand there with little oxygen for hours at a time. These rooms were originally intended for solitary confinement before the Nazi party took control. Our guide took us to a small courtyard and told us how Nazi soldiers would have German Shepherd dogs that would be commanded to kill with one word, and how they would line up the prisoners outside, naked, and told them that the dogs would be released if any of the prisoners moved. After hours of standing, one person would inevitably fall over, and the dogs would be released on all the prisoners, commanded to kill.

The Wannsee house was another form of evil. It was the place where Hitler’s Final Solution was initiated. This house was beautiful, with an incredibly gorgeous view of the water right outside. It was hard to admire when surrounded by the history of the house. We learned more about the people that were there for the Wannsee conference, and we learned what happened to them after the war had ended. Several of them were not tried or convicted, and a couple of men who were tried and convicted were released from prison early. Most of these men were tried for war crimes, and not the murder of millions of Jewish people. There were a couple of moments in the Wannsee house where you could feel the evil that once walked the halls.

View from the Wannsee House

The Wannsee House

While we were touring Berlin, our guide led us to the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe. This memorial allows you to walk through thousands of concrete blocks of varying heights. 

A small portion of the 2,711 concrete blocks in the memorial

Some of the concrete blocks had metal rings on the outside of them in an effort to keep them together. Several of the blocks had large cracks in them, and our guide said that there are people working on finding a way to save the memorial before the weather destroys it. I’m not sure how it felt for everyone, but for me it was like walking into a sea of concrete, where the deeper you got, the darker and more hopeless it seemed. It’s amazing how something so simple can be so powerful.